Dear friends,
When I was young, I had experiences that caused my developing mind to conclude, “There is something wrong with me.”, and “People always abandon me.” Since then, I have worked very hard at healing old pain and changing damaging beliefs through somatic therapy, meditation, writing, teaching, feeling my emotions, and nurturing that little girl who still resides in my heart.
My efforts have helped immensely and I feel more loving toward myself, connected to life, and open-hearted to others. And there are times when the old pain emerges so intensely that I, once again, become that distressed little girl from long ago.
My friends, that is why I write you today.
I want you to know that if I ever seem distant, anxious, a little too chatty, or unable to listen with my full attention, it is because I have reverted back to my old pain. I love you and I value our friendship deeply, it’s just that sometimes the beast of trauma appears and it is all I can see and experience.
Please just give me time. I will pull out my toolbox of healing methods that bring me closer to my wise self. I will empower that wise self to care for, soothe and consistently stay with that pained little girl from long ago. And I will watch as that little girl gradually starts to feel safe again, and eventually begins to play and giggle in her silly, spontaneous manner.
When that happens, you will know I have returned. That ‘we’ have returned, my older wise self and little girl, hand in hand, ready to be present with each other, and you, through the myriad of curveballs life throws our way.
Thanks for being patient and loyal. It really helps. I promise to be patient and loyal to you.
Your friend,
Ashley
☀️ The sun in your heart is like a loving parent that is always there for you, loving you and guiding you throughout the day. Learn more about the sun, cloud, and rainbow metaphors and The Girl and The Sun book.